Tuesday, January 06, 2015

PHONE SOLICITOR

I received a phone call a little while ago that absolutely made my day. When the phone rang I looked at the caller ID and it said "unavailable" so I figured it could be a solicitor, or it could be someone I don't get calls from normally. So I answered it.

Me: "Hello"
Slight pause 
Solicitor with accent: "Hello, my name is (I can't remember the name he used but it didn't match the accent) from Microsoft."
Me: silence
Solicitor with accent: "Hello" 
Me: "Yes"
Solicitor with accent: He then goes on and on to say that Microsoft has received reports that my computer has been receiving unwanted sinister things. Then finally after this explanation he pauses.
Me: silence
Solicitor with accent: "Hello, are you there"
Me: "Yes, go on."
Solicitor with accent: He then goes on and on about the dangers of letting these sinister things get onto my computer, then on and on about how Microsoft can help me rid my computer of them. Then he pauses.
Me: silence
Solicitor with accent: silence, only longer this time
Solicitor: "Hello"
Me: "The thing is, I don't own a computer."
Solicitor with accent: "Then why are you wasting my time, you idiot?"
Me: "You're the one who is wasting my time. You told me you had a report that my computer had been infected by something or other. I don't own a computer. Who's the idiot?' Then I paused.
Solicitor with accent: silence
(He probably disconnected after he called me an idiot.)